Here we go! (This is Cristi)

This is always when it starts to feel real. We got our official calendar and schedule today from the fertility center and I had my first blood draw. Basically the end of May and first part of June will be devoted to them - and ultimately toward getting our next miracle here. The crazy part this time around is that Robin has her own calendar. It's pretty amazing how this all works using a gestational carrier. What a blessing modern medicine is!

A Bond of Sisterhood

Left: Cristi and Right: Robin

We had Robin and Kevin and their kids over for dinner tonight. I already love this woman more than I can humanly express. It's hard to put into words how you feel about someone who is going to carry your child. I think that Robin is a hero. Actually, both Jeff and I think that Robin AND her husband Kevin are heroes. I feel connected to Robin in a way that I haven't ever quite felt before. I think we already share an unbreakable bond of sisterhood.

Also, do you remember the other day, when I said that I purposefully disabled comments on this blog because of a negative experience I had in the past? Well, tonight I decided to rise above my fear and to allow comments. We have had such a wonderful outpouring of love and support and many people have told either Robin or I that they'd love to be able to comment here. So I'm going to let it happen. Thank you for your encouragement and prayers, you guys! We feel it!

Uncharted Territory (this is Robin)

The out pouring of love and support this week has been so immense that I feel like need to express some serious heartfelt gratitude.  Thank you all so very much!!!  All of you that I do know--wow!!  I'm so glad to have you in my life, and I hope you'll continue to be a part of this journey.  Those that I don't know, THANK YOU!  Thank you for sharing your stories of struggle and triumph.  I'm constantly amazed at how a common struggle can ban people together to provide a community of support and love.  My heart is so full!!

I've had a lot to think about this week because up to this point, this has felt SURREAL!  Not anymore, and it has been OVERWHELMING!  My emotions have been all over the place.  Scared, uncertain, nervous, so very happy, grateful, and very humbled.  I'm so very humbled that Cristi and Jeff would put their trust in me to carry their baby and to be a part of their family in this small way. 

I think it's time to share a little more of my back story.  Again, I'm putting myself out there, and sharing a lot of personal information, but the point of this blog is to be real, raw, uncensored, and honest.  Deep breath, and here it goes!

My first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage just after 11 weeks.  We had seen the baby's heartbeat around 8 weeks and sometime between then and 11 weeks the baby died,  I had to have a D&C.  Being so far from home (I'm from Richmond, Virginia) I had never felt so alone and lonely because my family was back East.  To this day, I still think of that baby.  The crazy thing, is that before it had even happened, a part of me knew that I wouldn't get to ever hold that baby.  I was studying in the Union Building up at the University of Utah and I had put my head down and fell asleep.  I remember I jerked myself awake because I had dreamed the baby had no heartbeat.  The next day was my doctor's appoint, and sure enough the doctor couldn't find the heartbeat.  The doctor sent me down for an ultrasound right away, and my husband just held my hand while I wept when they confirmed what I already knew.  I guess I'm sharing this because I've felt the sadness of what it's like to not have a baby I so desperately wanted.  Yes, I went on to have more children, but I can relate on some level to that feeling of disappointment that many feel when struggling with infertility. 

I went on to have three children in 2.5 years.  I have easy pregnancies.  I have NEVER had a bout of morning sickness.  Not even the slightest tinge of nausea, so I'm very lucky in that regard.  However, I'm not one of those women that loves being pregnant.  I do love the second trimester when I can feel movement, before I get uncomfortable.  When I told Cristi and Jeff that I didn't love being pregnant in our first meeting, I could tell that I had surprised them a little bit.  My love lies in being a mother.  That's where the motivation comes from to do this.  Motherhood transformed me.  I am a much better person because of my children, and that's where I'm drawing from, and why I knew I could do this for another family.  

That said, the second part of this was the family for me to do this for.  I was so nervous to meet Cristi and Jeff for the first time, that I wanted to puke.  Hindsight, I don't know why because I honestly didn't think the first couple I met would be "The Couple."  Anyway, for those of you who know Cristi and Jeff-- you know why I'm doing this for them.  For those of you who don't know them, I wish you did.  They're amazing! 

So here we are today.  And for the record, it takes A LOT to get to this point--I've already been poked and prodded, tested up the yin yang, and both my husband and I had psyche-evaluations. A 38 page legal contract had to be gone over and signed, and now it's GAME TIME.  I think that's why my emotions are all over the place...I start birth control today to get me linked up to Cristi, and then I'll start the hormones within the next month to get me ready for the June transfer.  My last appointment with the Fertility Center is today to break down the process for next month.  The next time they see me, it will be to get me pregnant.  

On a little side note: I'm going to love Cristi and Jeff's baby.  How could I not?  In my psyche-evaluation, the Dr. discussed that it is natural for gestational carriers to form a bond with the baby, and that I need to because it makes a healthy baby.  What's crazy for me is, that I already love this baby because he/she has already been in my thoughts, my prayers, and I want this baby so badly for his/her parents.  I've had people say that they don't know how I'm going to be able to give up a baby after I go through this process.  I look at it like I'm giving BACK the baby.  But, that's the point.  After delivery, I get to go home, sleep through the night, heal, and keep on with my own little family.  No 2am feedings for me!  I'm the 24/7 nanny for this baby for 9 months.

I expect this journey to change my life.  I don't know to what magnitude yet,  but I know it's going to be good.  Thank you all again for your love and support, and for sharing this journey with us.  I'd encourage you all to share this blog, because if we can be pioneers (like Cristi said in her previous post) in figuring this all out, spreading awareness, and educating others, then we're all doing something good.  Again, here's to making a miracle!  

A Pioneer?

Hello again! This is Cristi. YOU GUYS!! My heart is BURSTING with all of the love and support we have received after our first two posts. Not even 48 hours ago, I was sitting in my bed, nervously questioning whether or not I should hit the "publish" link. My heart was racing and my mind was going 100 miles per hour with nerves. But I'm SO GLAD I DID IT! The support and encouragement we have gotten has been astounding. My heart feels like it is going to explode with joy and I have been crying happy tears for the better part of a day. We have been blown away on both Facebook and Instagram. Last night, Robin and I were texting back and forth and she mentioned that we've already gotten almost 1,000 hits on the blog. (There are even more this morning.) In just one day! That is mind boggling! We didn't know if anyone would want to read about this. But we now know this is going to be something that will be remarkable to share. And this is why we chose to be open about it. Obviously it is something that people are interested in and I pray that we can be the means of helping someone to not feel alone and isolated on their own journey. I am a firm believer that one reason we are given trials in life is to - for lack of a better term - "pay it forward." To share the lessons we've learned as we've gone through them and to help lift up those around us who may be struggling through the same things. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for your love and support and encouragement in this new and exciting (and for us - unchartered) endeavor!

And along those lines - today my sister asked me the question, "How does it feel to be a pioneer?" I kind of just smiled when she asked and thought, "Um, we're definitely not pioneers!" But then I questioned -"Or wait - ARE we??" I don't feel like a "pioneer" in any form. But at the same time, her simple question got me thinking a lot. The dictionary gives the definition of "pioneer" as: "develop or be among the first to use or apply (a new method, area of knowledge, or activity)." In a way, maybe we are pioneering to an extent. I mean, gestational carrying is not new. Many people have done it. And IVF has been around for years. Yet, how many people do I know personally who have either been a gestational carrier or used a gestational carrier? One. I know one amazing woman who - just this past year - was a gestational carrier for another couple who could not have children. One person! Out of thousands of people that I know!  I know of many people who have told me, "This is something that I would have loved to have done for a friend or family member." But I think that people just don't know how to go about it. And maybe THAT'S the way that we are pioneering the path right now. I really hope that sharing our journey will make this process seem more accessible for others.  I have already had one private message from someone saying that our story has inspired her to look into being a gestational carrier and another message from a woman saying that she now feels confident in moving forward to pursue using a gestational carrier.  And, you guys, THAT is why we are sharing this!

Which brings me to another quick point - I've had a few people tell me on instagram that they can't leave a comment on this blog. And I did that on purpose. I used to keep a family blog years ago and I had a pretty negative experience and some bullying.  It made me shy away from blogging for years. And so, because of that, I have disabled comments on this blog. This is such a personal journey - and even though we are sharing it in a very public way (which I feel is the right thing to do) - I don't necessarily want strangers commenting and being negative or telling us that we are doing something wrong. If you are interested, you are more than welcome to follow along with me on Instagram. I am also open there and that is a place where you can comment.  I don't do Facebook very often. And I'm more guarded about who I "friend" on that site. But Instagram has been a fantastic support for me and the infertility community there is wonderful. If you're interested - or even if you just have a comment that you're dying to leave here but can't - my Instagram name is @hiyapapayamommy.

Once again - THANK YOU for your SUPPORT!! And LOVE!! And ENCOURAGEMENT as we begin this journey!

As Robin said in her post - here's to making a miracle!

Hi, I'm Robin!

I kept telling Cristi I would  post on this blog this weekend, but I really think I was waiting for her to make the first move.  This is scary for me.  And I'm not a "get scared" kind of person.

That said, Hi, I'm Robin--Cristi and Jeff's gestational carrier.  I have to take a deep breath now while I put all this out there for people I know and a lot of people I don't know to read, so here it goes.

Have any of you seen the  Hunger Games Bad Lip Read on YouTube?  (Side note: they're really funny!!).  Well, in that clip, there's a line and this girl says to Katniss that she's "loco crazy!"  Well, I kinda feel that way.  But in all seriousness, I found a quote the other day that is helping me explain this situation to myself, and to other people that I have shared what is going on in my life:

"There will be a few

times in your life when all

your instincts will tell you 

to do something, something

that defies logic, upsets

your plans, and may seem

crazy to others.  When that

happens, you do it.  Listen to 

your instincts and ignore

logic, ignore the odds,

ignore the complications,

and just go for it."

-Judith McNaught

Ten years ago I offered my sister to carry a baby for it.  That's when the idea was first born.  Now fast forward 10 years; my family is done and I had actually run into a couple gestational carriers over the last couple of years, so it made me consider this again.  In December, I contacted the Utah Fertility Center just to learn about it.  They called me back, did a basic screening, and I knew I was a good candidate.  With all the things going on in my life (sold a home, moved in with the in-laws, we're now building a home etc.), it was just too much and I said this wasn't the right thing for me at this time.  In February, I received a phone call from the fertility center saying there was a couple that would like to meet me.  I decided what the heck?  Seriously-- what were the chances that I'd click right off the bat with the first couple I met?  Well, within 5 seconds of meeting Cristi and Jeff, I KNEW they were the couple that I needed to help.  I'm not prone to pillar of light, heavenly choir kind of spiritual experiences, but this is one of those kinds of experiences.  Everything is moving forward so much faster than I ever anticipated, and sometimes I'm scared.  "For God hath not given us the Spirit of fear.  But of power, of love, and of a sound mind."  When I feel scared and unsure, I think of that.  I already had my answer that this was the right thing for me to do, and these were the right people.  

So, this is a little bit about me, and how I got to this place in my life.  There's of course more I had to consider, and I'm sure I can share that at a later date (IE, how this would effect my health, body, family, etc.).  But, I'm excited to share this journey in this public way with Cristi and Jeff.  I hope to educate, break some stereotypes, and share this with all of you who are interested.  Here's to making a miracle!  

AND SO IT BEGINS (posted by Cristi)

APRIL 20, 2014 - HERE WE GO!

For months, I've been praying to know the right time to share this journey openly.  We wanted to wait until things were in motion a bit more. And then we wanted to wait to tell our families. And then I just still didn't feel like the time was right. I don't know if it's because it's Easter and my heart is bursting with love and gratitude for my Savior, and because I feel the Spirit by the bucket full right now or if it's because National Infertility Awareness Week starts today (it's the 25th anniversary of NIAW this year) and it just naturally seems like the right thing to do. But either way, I am being prompted that now is the time to share our story and our journey publicly. So ... here we go! (DEEP BREATH!)

I think the way that will be easiest for me to begin this and to introduce you to the situation is to copy and paste a journal entry I wrote four months ago. It was an entry I was thinking of using to start a blog (I told you this is something I've been waiting to share for months). But like I said - the timing didn't feel right to take it public yet. So we continued to pray and be guided by the Lord until this day. 



DECEMBER 28, 2013 - MY INITIAL FEELINGS

I have gone back and forth in my mind probably at least (literally) a hundred times on whether or not to share this. It's deeply personal. Yet sharing personal things hasn't particularly been a factor for me much in the past, has it? ;) But this seems different. Harder. More complex and complicated. And more between me, my husband and the Lord. But as I have sat and pondered and laid in bed, many a sleepless night, and contemplated this over and over and over and over (and over), I have had the repeated thought that this is indeed something I should share. Or at least, that it is something that I CAN share. I feel like Heavenly Father is okay with me putting our story out there. And, in fact, that He is encouraging me to do so. Our entire infertility journey is something that we have chosen to be open about. It wasn't always so. We weren't initially as free and willing to talk about it as we are now. But we came to the decision, through prayer and experience, (and through many years of going through the trial alone) that sharing our story would be a way, even if minimal, of helping others who might be experiencing some of the same things. Little did I know how it would connect us to people and bring us life long friendships and relationships that wouldn't have otherwise come to fruition. 

After Jeff and I made the decision a couple of months ago to begin the adoption process again, we shared it with our friends and family and started sharing it through social media (and even in our Christmas card) in hopes of getting the word out to more people. We know that "networking" is an important part of the adoption process and the more people you tell, the more opportunities that will usually present themselves to you as potentials to adopt. Many times, doors will open, as you share your plans with others, that may have been closed to you otherwise.  But the more we shared, the more our anxiety levels rose, and the more we questioned whether or not we were doing the right thing. AT THIS TIME. (That's an important phrase that I will come back to later.)

Let me back up a couple of steps here and say that when you suffer from infertility, the decisions about how and where and when to bring children into your family become that much more complicated. It's a complex thing in the first place - trying to plan out your family, even when you don't have fertility issues.  But when you add that to the mix, it becomes, as I said, that much more complicated. 

About a year after we had Rex, we started (or I should say I started) getting the feeling that we were supposed to have another child in our family. It took a little while, but eventually Jeff was on board with the idea and soon we both knew that God was indeed wanting us to have another baby.  But we weren't quite sure HOW He wanted us to proceed. We felt good about trying the IVF route again, and so that's where we began. Looking back now, I wonder why in the world I wanted to try IVF again when I had so many difficult and life threatening complications during my pregnancy with Rex. But I was much healthier now than I was when I was pregnant with him and Jeff and I had a lot of faith and trusted in God's will for us. At the time, we felt that was going ahead with Invitro again. I honestly felt like, "If I am healthy enough to carry a pregnancy, then God will bless me with one." I had incredibly strong faith. 

But getting pregnant was actually not the Lord's will for our family. However, I think that going through the IVF process multiples times WAS His will. He knew that we had lessons to learn and people to meet and ways to grow that we would not have otherwise experienced in this life. After four failed IVF attempts this past year, we quietly gave up on the idea, finally, that I would be pregnant again in this life. It was peaceful.  And it was the right thing. 

After we made that decision in August (after our final IVF attempt failed), we sat on it for awhile. We thought, "Maybe we actually AREN'T supposed to have any more children. Maybe we are just done and our family IS actually complete with Leo and Rex and we only had that prompting because we needed to go through the failed IVF attempts for our growth." And I'll be honest (and I feel a little guilty admitting this), that kind of felt nice. It felt "easy" (for lack of a better word). Our boys get along so well. They're best friends. They're at awesome ages. Things are finally starting to get "comfortable." We're almost to the point where we don't need a stroller and the kids can get in and out of carseats by themselves. Life was feeling pretty good. Pretty solid. Pretty manageable. 

But of course - when things get comfortable - that's usually when the Lord steps in and says, "Wait a minute! You need to grow some more!" (At least in my experience.) 

Around October, we BOTH started having the feeling, once more, that our family is not yet complete and we are supposed to have at least one more child. As we talked about it and prayed about it, we felt like pursuing the road to adoption was a good route for us to try again. And thus we come full circle to where I began - telling people that we are planning on adopting.

But, even as I write this, I feel great anxiety about the idea.

There is, however, another option. And it's one we have agonized over. (And I use the word "agonize" here in it's definition of PUTTING FORTH GREAT EFFORT.) It's one we have prayed about possibly more than anything else in our lives and it's one that's difficult for us to discuss with people.  This other option is to use a gestational carrier.

We have been so hesitant to share this. There are multiple reasons. It's complicated. We don't want to be judged. It seems that people think that adoption is the more "noble" thing to do. Why would we want to use a gestational carrier when there are "so many children out there in the world that need to be loved and need a family?" That's a good question. A GREAT question! It's a question I have asked myself MANY times. And quite honestly, it's NOT an easy question to answer. But I want to attempt. In my fumbly, weak way with words, I want to attempt to share my thoughts on this matter. 

Adoption is hard. At least it was for us. It was especially hard on me. I think it was MUCH more of a difficult emotional and financial roller coaster than going through IVF and infertility treatments. I wouldn't trade our adoption experience for anything in the world, because it gave us our first born - the perfect, angelic little boy who made me a mother. I couldn't love Leo more if I carried him next to my heart for nine months. In fact, we are in a unique situation because we have adopted one child and had another one through IVF. And we can honestly say that there is absolutely unequivocally NO difference in how we feel about our boys. They. Are. BOTH. Our. Sons. They were our children in Heaven and they are our spirits now, entrusted to us to raise here on this earth. They are OURS.  And they will be ours forever. They were meant to be part of our family. Though the routes they came to us were different.

BUT adoption was hard. The paperwork, the waiting, the lists, the financial stress, the minds that can be changed and hopes and dreams that can be dashed in the blink of an eye. The highest highs and the lowest lows, all experienced within hours of each other. The emotions on so many different sides, so many different levels. It's something that, unless you have been through, you can not describe. You can not judge. You just don't know.  And it's something that is difficult to describe. But as difficult as it is to describe, it was even more difficult to live through.  And the more I think about it, the more I don't know if I am ready, or even capable, at this time, to go through that emotional stress again. 

I've questioned - am I just lacking faith? Why do I feel so much anxiety about this? Do I just need to "buck up" and be stronger and go through the process? But the more Jeff and I talk about it, the more we feel uneasy. And I don't think that is just opposition. I think the Lord is telling us, "Perhaps adoption IS right for your family. In the future. But not necessarily AT THIS TIME."

And this brings us back to the gestational carrier topic. This is an idea that first came into my mind (interestingly) the night BEFORE we found out our final IVF attempt didn't work. I remember so distinctly, sitting on the floor of our bedroom closet, crying in pain, not being able to walk to the bathroom, from having to be off of my RA meds while TTC, and hoping and praying that the next morning we would have a BFP (for those not familiar with TTC - or "trying to conceive" - terms, a BFP means a "big fat positive" and it's what everyone hopes for during their BETA blood test - or the first blood test after an IVF cycle). As I was sitting there, crying, praying, LONGING for our miracle of being pregnant, I had the distinct thought come into my mind, "Perhaps you are not the one who is meant to carry your child." And I wasn't thinking adoption. It caught me off guard. But I had the thought come into my mind AGAIN - just as clearly as it had come the first time and I was FLOODED with absolute peace and I immediately crawled over and grabbed my laptop and started googling "surrogacy" and "gestational carriers." 

"This is absurd," I thought! "We don't even know if I'm pregnant right now or not! I could very well have a positive blood pregnancy test in the morning, and that's what we are HOPING for!" Nevertheless, I couldn't stop myself from searching. 

And thus we bring up another difficult thing for me to discuss - the topic of religion and gestational carriers. (And yet, I think this is one of the most important things for me TO discuss in all of this.) My husband and I are very devout in our faith, and we had remembered reading our church's handbook saying that surrogacy is strongly discouraged. That's all it said. One line. No explanation. Just "surrogacy is strongly discouraged."

Why in the world would I have the prompting to research surrogacy when it was "strongly discouraged" by the leaders of our church? Why would God want me to look into something if He didn't want us to pursue that path?

So I continued looking and searching. The next morning, we had our BETA blood test, and it was, of course, negative.  We met with our RE (another infertility term - Reproductive Endocrinologist - or, basically, our fertility doctor) a couple of days later and she mentioned gestational carriers to us as a possibility. As Jeff and I drove home that day, I remember holding hands, and crying, as a feeling came over me, again, saying, "Perhaps you aren't the one who is meant to carry your child. Maybe you need to allow this blessing to someone else as a way for them to give service. Perhaps THAT will be your next miracle." I felt a peace like I can't describe.  It was the most intense feeling of warmth and of COMFORT. I will never forget it.

But, mainly because of our religious concerns, we let days, weeks, months go by without really discussing it out loud to each other. I secretly continued researching it and I sought out other members of our faith who had either used a gestational carrier or had been a gestational carrier for another couple. But Jeff and I didn't talk about it out loud. I continued to pray about it and I continued to feel peace about it. But, because of fear (fear of being judged, fear of doing the wrong thing, fear of being rejected), I kept it to myself.

This is about the time when Jeff and I started to discuss adoption and as we talked about it, I thought, "Maybe I had the impression that someone else is to carry our child because our child is supposed to come through adoption." And that seemed to "make sense." And so we went with it.  

But (as I've said probably at least ten times during this novella!), we felt continually uneasy about adoption. The more we'd talk about it and tell people about it, the more uneasy we'd feel. We said, "We should get a home study started" But we just didn't feel right about doing a home study yet. We even got calls from the adoption agency and we'd pray after each call we received and we wouldn't feel right about the situation - even though it seemed "perfect" on paper.

And then last week, we met with our fertility center again. And for the first time, we started talking openly about using a gestational carrier. And for the first time in MONTHS, I felt PEACE. I felt GOOD. I didn't feel anxious or uneasy. 

Our fertility center explained to us that there is a difference between "surrogacy" and "gestational carrier." This is something I hope to explain a bit more in a future post. I'm sure we will have to help educate people on the difference between the two. It is, in fact, something that we ourselves needed to be educated on. 

Having a family is such a personal thing. It is SO personal. And yet here I am, discussing it openly for all of you to read. But this brings me back around to the peace I feel as I type this out - the guidance I feel from the Spirit, in the hopes that we may be the means of helping another couple who is perhaps struggling with some of the same things as we have been struggling with.  

Our next step would be to find a potential carrier. OR to do a home study for adoption.  I have gone back and forth in my mind at LEAST a hundred times about this. These are just SOME of the thoughts SWIRLING around in my head: What is the "right" thing for us to do? How does God want us to bring the next child into our family? Will people think we are selfish if we use a gestational carrier instead of adopting? Will people think we are less noble?  Will people judge us because we said we were going to adopt again and then we changed our minds? Will people judge us in other ways? What is the most cost effective way to have a baby? (It's SO sad that you have to factor this in. But when you're infertile, finances play a HUGE role in family planning.) Adoption would cost a little bit more than using a gestational carrier. But then again, that kind of depends on how much you legally agree to financially compensating a carrier. And why in the WORLD would anyone EVER be willing to do that for another couple?? Being pregnant is HARD on a woman! I can't IMAGINE anyone being selfless enough to actually be WILLING to be a carrier! Are we "supposed" to use a gestational carrier at this point in our lives and then maybe adopt again later on? Is that why I've gone back and forth in my mind so much about it?  What is the "right" thing for us to do? What does God want? What is right? What is right? What is RIGHT?

And yet, as I write my thoughts out, I know in my heart what is right. And I know that Jeff does too. 

We are ultimately going to take this one step at a time. It's the only way we CAN do this. And right now, that means trying to find someone to be a gestational carrier for us. 



APRIL 20, 2014 - BACK TO THE PRESENT

So that's the entry (or potential entry) that I wrote back in December. I have been saving it on my computer for months, praying for the right time to share. Which, I believe, is now.

Many (MANY!) amazing and exciting things have happened in the months since then. Everything has fallen and is falling into place, confirming our decision that this is right.

First of all - WE HAVE FOUND A GESTATIONAL CARRIER!! She is AMAZING! And, in fact, she and I are going to share this blog together. We have both seen blogs kept by either a gestational carrier or the family they are carrying for. But never one kept by the two together. She and I feel like this will be a unique and special way to document our experience. We want to be as raw and as real as possible as we embark on this journey together.  I'm excited to tell you more (in a future post)  about her and the experience we had the first time we met her.

Also - this may not seem important to many of you, but to Jeff and I it is HUGE! We have the religious go-ahead from our leaders. We met with the Bishop of our church and he was fantastically supportive and he went with us to meet with our Stake President, who was also completely on board. Both of them said that, as we told them our story and what we were hoping to do, they each felt like it was "just the right thing to do." Our Stake President then wrote a letter to the First Presidency of our church and received a reply that this was a decision between "the couple and the Lord." What a BLESSING! And a burden lifted off our shoulders. Once we received that letter, we started blazing full speed ahead!

We have started the legal paperwork (we've actually just finished that up) and have begun the initial medical and psychological screenings (both for us and for our carrier and her husband) and soon will begin our medications to get this show on the road! We are looking to and planning for a June transfer.

This is absolutely and unequivocally going to be a miraculous journey. Despite what happens. We know there will be ups and downs, as there is with anything in life. We aren't expecting smooth sailing. We know very well there will be bumps on the road and even some storms that may try our very faith. But WE HAVE THE ASSURANCE FROM THE LORD that this is the right thing to do. And with that on our side, we will continue pressing forward in faith. 

THANK YOU to everyone who has been so incredibly supportive on our almost 10 year journey of infertility. We think it's kind of neat and special that, by the time this is all said and done, we will have three children, brought to our family in three different ways, but all OURS. Each of our children will have come from a different "tummy."  MIRACLES have not ceased! Getting our family here has taught me that. 

LOTS OF LOVE,

Cristi