HAPPY TRANSFER DAY!!! (This is Robin)

So my last post was about how I was feeling anxious--well, it has ESCALATED to full on crazy girl ANXIETY!

I had never felt so alone last night.

My husband called it:  he told me when we went to bed to have fun tossing and turning all night.   We went to bed at 10ish, and by 11pm, I was sick of tossing and turning, left the room, and watched some trashy reality TV (and ate some Half Baked Ben & Jerry's) until 1:30am.  I have moved on from cake to ice cream!  I am my mother's daughter!  

Some of you may be wondering why the anxiety?  Honestly--look at it from my perspective--it's not just about being pregnant.  I have spent MONTHS preparing mentally, emotionally, and physically (not that anyone can really tell).  I have poured so much energy into this, and invested so much of myself into people whom don't know me very well, and whom I don't know very well, and it's FINALLY here.  Pregnancy can be risky to begin with, but when I had to take out a life insurance policy to do this, it makes you think a little bit more about those risks.

I think what I'm feeling is normal--at least I hope.  I can honestly say, that despite all the anxiety, I know what I'm doing is the right thing, and I draw peace from that.

PLEASE pray, or do whatever you do and send good vibes into the universe that this is successful. The transfer is at 2:30pm MST, so it's so close!  Hopefully, in 10 days we'll get a nice POSITIVE result!

xoxo

T-Minus 4 Days!!! (This is Robin)

Hey Folks!  So, this post is mostly for my sake, and I promise I'm not trying to turn this into the "Robin Show."  We are SO close to this transfer, and I'm starting to feel anxious, so I'm blogging for therapeutic reasons.

Today, I tried to explain to my 4 year old what is going on, because out of my three kids, she'll remember this the most.  I haven't really said anything and wasn't on planning on saying anything until it was obvious that there was something in Mommy's tummy, but she's so smart, that I felt like I need to talk to her about what I'm going through.  My kids have met Cristi, her husband, and their sweet little boys, and I asked her if she remembered them.  She told me right away that they have a kitty cat, and I knew she remembered.  I explained to her that I was going to take care of their baby for a little while, but that it was theirs and I really think she understood.  She loves babies, and is such a little mommy herself, that I've been worried she'd be hurt not having a baby to bring back.  That said, I could just tell from the way that she looked at me, that she understood, which caused a huge amount of relief for me.  We may have to have this conversation a few more times, but I felt a lot of peace with her responses to me.

I have been preparing for MONTHS, and now that it's here, it feels surreal.  Once I started the medication (for real the second time around), it made it more real.  I stink at giving myself shots because I hesitate, and the progesterone shots do hurt.  Not the initial shot itself, but afterwards--it burns a little, and it reminds me of a tetanus shot.  The muscles are sore.  I should probably do myself a favor and watch some YouTube videos.

Just say a prayer that this works!

Another Update (this is Robin)

So, I went in for some blood work today, and talked with the nurse about one of the side effects I'm having from the Estradiol.  HEADACHES.  CONSTANT.  ANNOYING.  They're pressure headaches with a dull ache, and then it messes with my vision.  IT STINKS!  It's particularly bad because I work from home on a computer, and that just magnifies the problem.  The nurse said they're hormonal headaches and that the side effect is very common and that Tylenol will be my best friend.  I've been on the Estradiol a week, and the very next day I could feel it.

I also got a phone call earlier this evening that they have to UP my dosage of Estradiol from .15ml to.2ml.  I'm assuming that's just going to make this worse.  That said, I'm a pretty tough cookie and I've had worse pain in my life.  I know to drink lots of water, get adequate rest, and take medication before I even FEEL the headaches coming on.  They're pretty constant, so it's not going to hurt me to just to take the Tylenol beforehand.  I go in on Thursday for an ultrasound to check my lining, and I'm assuming they'll make more adjustments to medication IF needed.  I'm hopeful that everything will look great.

Anyway--that's what's going on!!


xoxo

Here We Go!!! (this is Robin)

I had another appointment with the fertility center, and that photo is my first shot!  I get to give it to myself tomorrow night--or maybe I'll make my husband do it--maybe not, he might enjoy playing nurse too much.  :-)  At the appointment today, they did the FDA physical exam, another ultrasound, and everything looks GREAT!  I start with the estradiol tomorrow, and will take it again Friday night.  Then in a week or so, I'll add the progesterone and oil shot, and the metradol shot in addition to the estradiol.  I'll also have to do a progesterone suppository, and all of these shots will pretty much last through my first trimester.  (God willing!!)  So, this is really it!  Between now and August 7, I have 7 more appointments at the fertility center, for blood work, and ultrasounds.  It's VERY intense, and I'm feeling a TON of pressure for this to work, but it's really out of my hands.  I can only do what they tell me to do, and pray that nature and God will do the rest.

Anyway, that's what's going on!  TRANSFER DAY IS JULY 28TH!!!! Cross all you fingers, and send all your prayers and good energy into the universe so hopefully we can get this baby here!

xoxo