Rocked the Run (This is Robin)

The blogging bug has bit again!

So, part of this process for me has been "trying" to become more physically ready to go through another pregnancy.  I never lost the baby weight from my last baby, and that's been tough on me.  I've never been this big before.  It's a huge blow to the self-esteem.  I don't fit in that Utah "stay at home mommy" mold to begin with, and even more so now.  I know I shouldn't care about "fitting in" anymore, but living in Utah for the last 8 years has been a challenge, and at times very lonely so I yeah, sometimes I just want to fit in.  I know being a woman is hard anywhere, but man, do I feel it here!  That said, I'm also in a stressful situation that makes being as healthy as I want to be more difficult.  I'm not trying to deflect or avoid taking responsibility for my own actions, but that's just the way my life is.  I cook maybe half the time (my mother-in-law cooks the other half), and I'm in a mayonnaise and butter lovin' household.  My other issues are:

I want to eat when I'm sad.

I want to eat when I'm stressed.

I want to eat when I'm happy.

And ya'll know I eat cake when I'm angry.

I LOVE to eat and cook healthy meals, but I'm also in a home where meat and potatoes are the norm, and there's no such thing as branching out.  It's hard to eat healthy when I'm surrounded by unhealthy foods.  I haven't touched a scale in months because I just don't want to know, so at this point it's all about maintaining.

Exercise is the key for me.  It's not just about losing weight, but it's about the mental benefits for me as well.  I went for a REALLY good run tonight, and it felt AMAZING.  Not just physically, but it clears my mind, and I feel like it helps me cope with the raging hormones.  My life makes it challenging to get out as much as I want: I'm up at 5:30am most mornings to work (I work from home), I have my three children that keep me on the go, and in the evenings I'm SO tired, that exercise is the last thing I want to do.  But, not tonight!!  I got my butt out the door and rocked my run, and I feel good!

A friend told me that the silver lining in all the weight issues, is that I'm not going to lose weight, just to gain weight, and have to lose it all again.  I'll just have to be SO careful about what I gain during this pregnancy.  Anyway, this health stuff is all part of my preparations to go through this.  I already look like I'm 20 weeks along because I have that mom tummy, and at this point, liposuction is my only answer after this next pregnancy.  I guess at this point, it's just taking one day at a time, and doing the best I can!