I have finally started to feel a shift from early pregnancy symptoms to the comfortable second trimester stage.
I am 18 weeks and 5 days along, and FINALLY (as within the last week) the nausea has abated. I still get weird hits and misses of nausea, but it's nothing like what it was. So that's WINNING in my book!! I was starting to feel kind of down because I just never felt good. I'm grateful to start feeling a little bit more back to myself.
My life is busy with a work from home job, three children (4, 3, and 2), who are in constant motion, a dog who has had diarrhea for the last month, (she's finally on medication), and I'm still not sleeping well. I'm constantly fatigued, and I get weird aches and pains from growing to accommodate Baby. I've been overly emotional, sensitive, and on a short fuse, and now I remember why my husband swore up and down I would never be pregnant again. ...And here we are. He really deserves an award-he's been my ROCK. My appetite is finally starting to come back which could be a good and bad thing considering I'm really trying to watch my weight with this pregnancy.
I'm not feeling regular movement yet. Within the last week I've felt some movement, which was easily recognizable has the baby, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's another few weeks before any regular movement starts to occur. I was a lot like this with my little boy. My girls I felt earlier, but my little boy started moving closer to the 24 week mark, and then he never stopped. Maybe it's a boy thing.
I don't talk about the Baby with my children often, but I'm always so grateful when they say something and they remember he's Cristi's. Today, my 3 year old was getting out of the car, and was hugging me, and then leaned down, and said "I need to hug the baby and kiss him," and then proceeded to kiss my tummy. So sweet, and it just melts my heart. Another funny thing is that my contract says I can't do high impact exercise, so when my kids are like "Mommy, run!" I'm legally obligated NOT to. Again, WINNING! (I actually like to run, but saying that I can't run for legal reasons is kind of funny).
I'm feeling very mentally strong as things progress and move forward. I have absolutely no worry (at this point which is bizarre considering my biggest concern was my emotional welfare after the birth), that I'll be able to walk away without feeling a sense of loss. Women ask me constantly how I'm able to emotionally do this, and honestly, as I get further along in the process, it gets easier for me. I didn't want to be pregnant for myself, or bring a baby home, and this process was so manipulated that there's already a level of detachment. My mentality is that I'm the babysitter. I have no expectations of having a relationship with this child, and I feel myself starting to look at it just an act of service. I'm a tool that God is using to provide something for another family, and that's a great place to be. I hope that makes sense.
So there's the update in my life as a gestational carrier! There is such a need for women to do this, and if you're remotely interested, look into it, and educate yourselves! Until next time-xoxo!
